The Vulva Dialogue


Its the “down there,” the “special place,” the “you know,” or the “kitty,” some of the random expressions used to refer to or speaking about the feminine sex. The sometimes seemingly awkward nature in which people talk about the vulva. It gives off this deep seeded impression that its something similar to a black hole, vast and empty space. Women are usually so embarrassed that they disconnect themselves from it and make a conscious effort to try to disassociate it with the rest of the body. But why is that? Is it that it represents some deep dark discontent with ourselves? Or is it something more?

There are many reasons women disassociate themselves from owning the beauty of the vulva; some of which date back to the foundations of religion. In addition to the messages women receive from media, family, friends and even ourselves regarding our own vulvas, women are not always the most empowering. Society propagate the sentiment that the vulva is this dirty thing that needs to be cleansed of its filth, as evident by all the feminine hygiene products on the market. When people are constantly being inundated with such messages, how is it that people aren’t ashamed of the vulva? If you took the time to talk to your vulva what would the conversation look like?

Would your conversation go like this:
“Hello, old friend, how are you today?”
“I am fine, a little lonely. Where have you been?”
“Work, school, kids, life. You know the routine.”
“That I do. But it doesn’t mean you can’t take a few minutes every now and again to reconnect? I’ve missed the good times we shared.”
“True, but I’m usually just so tired. That by time it comes around, I just don’t feel like it.”
“I understand.”

Or more like this:
“Hello, old friend, how are you today?”
“I am tired. I pulled a double last night?”
“Wow, sounds exhausting. How are you holding up?”
“Same ole, same ole. You know the routine. I just wish I didn’t feel so disconnected every time.”

Or maybe even like this:
“Help, someone, I just want to be loved!”

American society has always held and promoted a shameful view of sex, sexual relations, and sexual relationships. People are not comfortable in their own skin to have frank conversations about what it is that they want and need sexually, emotionally, and spiritually in order to form healthy attachments to others. So many women are settling for who is available instead of being with someone who truly values the entirety of the women which includes the vulva.

So when was the last time you had a vulva dialog? What would she say? Would she lament about how lonely she is? Would she cry out for attention? Would she express how overused and tired she is? Would she beg for a rest? When was the last time you took the time to have a healthy and frank conversation with her? When was the last time you took time out to praise her? Explore her intricacies and uniqueness? Would you even recognize her on the street? Are you close friends or distant strangers? Many people are surprised at the beauty that is in the flower. It holds for many not just the beauty of sex, but the secrets of life.

Its time for people to be proud of the inner beauty that is in the vulva. Embrace its power and glory. When we as a society stop being fearful and shameful of its existence, we can move forward from this stagnant backwards views of sexuality and move forward in to a positive destiny.

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