Almost year ago, I posted on Facebook.com that my fiancé wanted me to be “his wife, his whore, and the mother of his kids”. Much to my surprise the amount of personal and moral outrage that I received from the female portion of the population. There were several personal friends who congratulated me one this (no this was not his actual proposal); however, there were several former friends (even one who blocked me) who were personally and deeply offended that I relish in the thought of being his whore.
With all due respect, I don’t think it’s anyone’s right to judge what happens in another’s relationship. I don’t feel that anyone had a problem with his desire for me to be his wife and the mother of his kids, but apparently there is a problem with being a man’s personal whore. His slut. His all-encompassing fantasy. His concubine. His everything. What is the problem with that? Have we become a society that is so hung up on words that we miss the very point of what it is that someone is trying to say?
Why can’t a woman be all three? Most people feel that slut shaming is appropriate and okay. Slut-shaming is the act of making a woman feel guilty or inferior for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging and/or acting on sexual feelings by calling her a “slut” or any synonym of the word (via Wikipedia). Slut or slattern is a term applied to an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. The term is generally pejorative and often applied to women as an insult or offensive term of disparagement, meaning “dirty or slovenly.” (via Wikipedia) “A slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you” (via TES). A slut is a person who has taken control of their sexuality and has sex with whomever they choose, regardless of religious or social pressures or conventions to conform to a straight-laced monogamous lifestyle committed to one partner for life. The term has been “taken back” to express the rejection of the concept that government, society, or religion may judge or control one’s personal liberties, and the right to control one’s own sexuality.
If whore is socially unacceptable then what is its socially acceptable counterpart?
- In the GLBT community, queer is acceptable
- In the black community, nigga is 50% acceptable
- When is whore acceptable?
“I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That’s what our purpose is in this business. You’re merchandised, you’re a product. You’re sold and it’s based on sex. But that’s okay. I think women should be empowered by that, not degraded.” ~Megan Fox
Your sex is what you make it. If you choose to let someone degrade you based on it that is your choice. Just because someone calls you stupid doesn’t mean that you are.